Just thinking about doing something 

We do things a certain way because it works for us.  If we have 'unhealthy' habits, it's because it works for us - or it has in the past.  

If you're not sure, it helps to understand all the pluses and minuses of both sides - changing and not changing before making any decision.  

Try answering these 4 things about making a change in a habit you're concerned about.   On a piece of paper, draw the 4 squares and fill in your answers. 

The example here is about exercising - you should use whatever you've picked as your first focus about your health, e.g. mood, anger, worry, weight. 

Take a look at what you wrote in all the boxes.   

• Do you make your decision based on how you feel (heart)?  (like falling in love)?
• Do you make decisions from your head - what you think?
• Take a look at what you think and what you feel about making change.  Is your head and heart on the same page about making a change/dealing with this unhealthy habit? 

Do you think you should change - but you don't really feel like it? 

Or do you feel like changing but your thinking/mind says no?  

In what way was doing this helpful? 

Good work!  Keep exploring.  

Most of us have many things going on in our life at the same time - all demanding our time and attention. We may 'want' to focus on changing an unhealthy habit but other things are demanding attention first, e.g. need to work, pay rent, buy food, take care of family members.  

We may end up putting our health needs at a lower priority. There's no right or wrong here - just our reality and choices we have to make. 

My priority to change my unhealthy habit is________________________

• Why did you give yourself that score?
• What would it take for you to increase your priority score?
• What do you need to deal with first before you can tackle your health? 
• In what way was this learning exercise helpful to you? 

There are 4 main reasons to want to change that affect how successful you'll be making a change:  

• Indifferent to making a change - it might be a good idea but you can't be bothered to work on it right now for different reasons.  These reasons need to be dealt with before trying to change. 

• External influence - others want you to make the change, like family, friends, your doctor.  You may feel pressured to change and not want to upset them.  Action and goals done for this reason don't usually last long especially if the outside folks stop enouraging you.

• Internal control - this means you have a feeling you "should" or "outght to" make the change.  In this case, you head is working to rule your heart - because you don't really feel like making the change and/or you feel guilty or anxious about not changing.  This doesn't work too well for long-term change unless you keep telling yourself "I should do this". 

• Freely chosen decision - You want to change because your head (thoughts), heart (feelings), and soul (values) work together on this.  Support from others may help along the way - but you're the driving force for change.  

HOW MUCH DO EACH OF THESE REASONS DESCRIBE YOU?  

Using a scale of 0-10 - 0 is not at all, 1 is a little bit, and 10 is "that's me, for sure."

What's your score for the different reasons?

• Indifference - Row A - A high score means you don't care about changing. 

This could be for a lot of different reasons - you're feeling sad, feeling anxious, dealing with stressful family or work situations, and other reasons.

What are some of those reasons for you?  It can help to understand what some of our reasons are.   They need to be addressed before trying to make any change. 

• Free Choice - Row D - You are chosing to make a change for yourself.  The higher the score for this one,   the more likely you are to change for good.  

What are some of your reasons to think about making any changes?

• What's really important to you about this? 
• How is it important to your life?  

Why did you give yourself the score you did for question/reason D?  

• What would it take to increase that score? 

There's a difference between having motivation to change and having confidence in our ability to change.  We can be motivated to make changes but not really believe we can do it.  Or we may have total confidence we can do it - when we really want to!

It's possible to have all the skills and information needed - but lack the confidence to try and achieve it.  

Any of this sound familiar?  

How confident are you that you can make the changes you need/want to make?    

My confidence to change my unhealthy habit is________________________

• Why did you give yourself that score?
• What would it take for you to increase your your score?
• In what way was this learning exercise helpful to you? 

Ability means you have the skills and information you'll need to make changes.  Usually, creating a healthy habit means we need to learn new ways of doing things to replace the old habit.

Do you think you can learn what you need to be successful?  Can you learn a new skill, e.g. simple cooking?  or self-assertive skills to decline food in social settings?  or skills to redirect your anxious thoughts so you can relax and focus? 

Score you ability to change    

My ability to change score is________________________

• Why did you give yourself that score?
• What would it take for you to increase your your score?

Now - let's put the 2 scores together - confidence and ability.   

How do you score? 

Sometimes we overestimate our ability to change -  "I could change... if I wanted to".  

• Do you over- or under-estimate your confidence and ability to change?  

No