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Preparing to make changes
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Getting Started
Starting to make plans to make a change
This is where you start to think about what it is you want to change. We'll get to setting your SMART goals next. Before jumping into setting a goal and taking action, it helps to clear out any hurdles you may encounter - anticipate and prepare so you have a better chance of succeeding.
There are 5 things you can do to prepare for your success.
Deal with negative things you tell yourself about making changes
How can past success help you with this now?
What will it feel like when you make the change you're thinking about?
Identify possible problems and options ahead of time
Find resources - build your team
Setting goals - creating an action plan
Deal with negative things you tell yourself about making changes
What negative things do you tell yourself that might get in your way?
Making changes is tough - it takes courage and persistence. We usually have negative thoughts about it. Things we say to ourself inside our head is called 'self-talk'. It affects how we look at things and our success.
Negative self-talk - These are negative things that can block change - it defeats us before we even get started.
Negative self-talk:
I just don't think I can do this.
I know myself. I always quit exercising after a day or two.
Positive self-talk is encouraging. It looks for ways we can be successful. It reminds us of times we were successful in the past, what we did to succeed in the past or how good it felt when we were successful in the past.
Positive self-talk:
If I keep trying, I'm sure I can get it.
I can be more creative and find an activity I like, like rowing or dancing, this time.
The more I try, the more confidence I'll have.
I've changed a habit - I replaced my soda with iced tea. I took it slow. I like the choices I have for iced tea now and I've saved money.
What are some negative things you tell yourself?
Now, how can you change that negative into a positive statement?
How can past success help you with this now?
Find strengths that led to past successes in your life!
Find a time in your life that you were successful at something - think about what it was. It doesn't matter if it's something related to changing health habits. It doesn't matter if it was big or small - or how long ago it was.
Just think of a time you were successful at doing something, anything!
- What was it?
- What did you do?
- What made it successful?
- What strengths did you use to make the change?
- How can you use those strengths now
- to reduce your resistance to change?
- to increase your motivation?
- to increase your confidence and ability?
What will it feel like when you make the change you're thinking about?
Use your imagination to see what your life would be like if.....
Take some time to imagine what it would be (will be) like when you've made your changes. Our mind takes our dreaming and imagination very seriously - it becomes a new roadmap for our future.
- What will your life be like?
- How will you feel?
- What difference will it make in your life? your day? your activities?
- How will your family/friends react?
- How can you work toward making the miracle happen?
Visualizing success has been used by Olympic athletes, musicians and others for decades - because it works. Each time you visualize success - like a real movie with all the details and the feeling of success and joy at the end, each time it becomes a stronger path for your mind and life to follow in real-life!
Identify possible problems and options ahead of time
What might get in your way of being successful? What can you do about them ahead of time?
If we're talking about making changes, there are going to be potential problems and barriers we can expect or have to deal with before we can really start to make changes.
Some of the barriers might be:
- Transportation to get to new/different places
- Work schedules that conflict
- Finding the time to learn to do what we'll need
Example: grocery shop, cook to eat healthier
- Too much work or other commitments that distract/drain us
- Money issues
- Temptations to continue old habits
Example: get fastfood on the way home instead of cooking
- Negative pressure from family/friends who don't want us to change or who will possbibly be a negative influence
Example: Give you a hard time about taking time-out to relax alone, and not going out together after work
- Work pressure
- Family/housing problems
Identify the top 3 barriers you think you might face.
Now - how could you deal with them so they don't in the way?
1) What are some possible ways you could deal with them?
Example: after long days at work, don't want to cook. Used to stop by fast food on the way home.
Options: Plan to have left-overs from the day before. Prepare food on the weekend and freeze so it's ready to thaw and heat up. Go to Fast Food place and order healthier foods - e.g. salad with meat. Hamburger and only eat 1/2 the bun, no french fries and get a side salad or coleslaw.
2) What support do you have right now to overcome these problems?
Potential problem: family/friends like to go out for Fish Fry on Friday, have pitchers of beer.
Possible support: Is there a person who usually goes with you that you think might be a support? Could you talk to them privately, ahead of time. Explain what you need, for example, if others give you a hard time about drinking diet coke and not beer, could they make a joke or change the subject to take the heat off you?
3) Are you willing and able to take action to address them?
If not, what will it take for you to be able to address them?
Find resources - build your team
Find support
There are different kinds of support to get in place that will make your action plan work.
- Different kinds of support: money, resources, babysitters, rides, activities scheduled at the local YMCA or gym
- Resources: exercise balls or bands you can take with you on the road
- People who can help - family, friends, help groups (e.g. weight watchers), church groups
- Emotional support - help groups (e.g. weight watchers), church groups, online support/forums, Facebook groups
You may not think you'll need support - and you may not. Sometimes, we believe we aren't going to be able to find the support we need.
Getting support from family/friends:
The first step is to think about who key people are who might help or who might be negative influcence. Use "I" language.
- What can they do to support you? Be specific. "I really enjoy football game parties. It's really tempting to eat all the chips and beer. Could we have non-alcoholic beer or diet tonic for me? and some vegie snacks - like raw peppers and a dip?"
- What would you like them NOT to do
- Not bring snack foods, e.g. chips into the house
EXAMPLE: Use "I" language. "I know you want me to take care of my health. It would be very helpful if you would not bring chips into the house during these first weeks. I would really appreciate it."
- Not argue with you or guilt trip you about not doing something you want to avoid.
EXAMPLE: "I really enjoy football game parties. If we have chug challenges - don't make a big deal if I drink non-alcoholic beer. OK?"
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- Not point it out if you chose to do something not on your new list.
EXAMPLE: "I know you want to support me changing my eating and exercising more. Sometimes, when I eat something not on my list - could you just not say anything right then. It's my choice and I'll deal with it. "
Setting goals - creating an action plan
Pick your goals - then set up your action plan for the first week!
There are 3 different types of goals: lLong range goals, intermediate goals and short-term goals that build toward the long range goals.
Think of it like stairs going up the top floor of a 10-story building. The 10th floor is your future goal - where you want to be in a year. The landing between the floors are your short-range goals - where you want to be in a month or 2. The steps are the daily or weekly goals.
It's better to start with specific, realistic goals and start small!
The Action Plan: You need to break it down into what action you'll take the first day, the first week to get to your first short-range goal.
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